Only around 5% of eligible employee fathers take up shared parental leave (SPL).
On the surface, this can look like a mystery. If SPL exists, why aren’t more dads using it?
From the stories shared by dads in the Parenting Out Loud community, the answer is clear: there isn’t one single reason. The barriers are multiple and they’re consistent.
1. For many families, it’s an affordability issue
One of the unintended consequences of shared parental leave has been to widen inequalities in parenting between higher- and lower-income families.
SPL is far more accessible to families who can absorb a significant drop in household income. In practice, that often means higher earners or households with more financial flexibility.
For many families (particularly where the dad is the main earner), taking SPL simply isn’t financially viable.
That leaves lower-earning families comparatively worse off than before when it comes to:
- dads spending meaningful time with their children
- equality in parenting and relationships
If shared care is only possible for those who can afford it, it isn’t truly shared and it certainly isn’t equal.
2. It’s complex, poorly understood, and badly communicated
Nearly half of dads don’t know SPL exists. Many line managers don’t understand it either.
Add in:
- complex eligibility rules
- unclear guidance
- lengthy administrative processes
…and it’s no surprise uptake is so low.
Even families who want to explore SPL often find the system confusing and off-putting, especially at a time when they’re already navigating pregnancy, birth and major life change.
3. It isn’t genuinely “shared” leave
Shared parental leave works by transferring leave from a mother’s entitlement.
For some families, that doesn’t work, practically or emotionally.
In many cases, mothers need or want to use the leave available to them for recovery, bonding, or breastfeeding. Asking families to “reallocate” that time doesn’t always feel fair, workable or supportive.
As a result, SPL can feel like a compromise rather than a meaningful commitment to shared care.
4. Workplace culture still gets in the way
Time and again, research and the lived experience of dads in our community shows that many fathers worry about:
- how taking leave will affect their career
- how they’ll be perceived by managers
- whether they’ll be seen as committed or reliable
These fears are rooted in outdated assumptions that dads should prioritise work over care and that early parenting is primarily a mother’s role.
In three stories shared in a recent article in The Times, every dad described challenges when requesting parental leave — including strained relationships with line managers and outdated attitudes.
In some cases, those experiences ultimately led to dads leaving their jobs altogether.
Where shared parental leave has worked
This doesn’t mean SPL has been a total failure.
Some families have had genuinely positive experiences. For some dads, SPL has been a game-changer, enabling early bonding, shared responsibility and stronger family relationships.
Those stories matter. They show what can be possible.
If we’re serious about equality, we need change
Because at a national, systemic level, SPL has failed to deliver equality in parenting.
Relying on families having the financial flexibility, confidence and workplace support to make SPL work will never deliver widespread change.
If we are serious about equal parenting, we need to raise the floor, not rely on individual trade-offs.
That means:
- proper, ring-fenced paid parental leave for all dads
- leave that is simple, well-paid and culturally supported
At a minimum: 6 weeks at 90% of pay.
Employers are already showing what’s possible
Across the UK, employers are already prioritising equal parental leave and showing that supporting dads to care is both possible and beneficial — for families, for gender equality and for workplaces themselves.
You can explore these examples in the Equal Parental Leave Leaders list, a growing group of organisations choosing to lead by example and normalise shared care at work.
That’s where real culture change begins: when caring is visible, valued and supported — not just in policy, but in practice.